Yes, ok, things are good now I suppose,
the past is the past but I can’t get out of the feeling of it
like being in a tub of dirty water when you just want to get out
But I’m still fixated on that dirty water that I can’t escape
No matter how much perfume
expensive bath salts
fun bath toys are dumped in
the water is still muddy, maybe not toxic, fine,
but is “not toxic” really the best I can do for myself?
Is that what I’m obliged to accept because I’m a grown-up now
and it’s not cool to ask for too much?
And I don’t want to be in dirty water, okay?
And Jesus Christ, I want to stop saying “okay?” to everything
as if every thought I have needs to be approved by some external authority
Let’s drain this fucking tub
CAN WE PLEASE ALREADY
and then maybe, maybe
we can give it a good scrub,
fill it up again with clean water
then add all those bubbles and toys and fancy-ass salts
and maybe that would be the heaven we’ve always been looking for