Photo by Matheus Frade on Unsplash

Yes, ok, things are good now I suppose,

the past is the past but I can’t get out of the feeling of it

like being in a tub of dirty water when you just want to get out

rinse off

be clean

But I’m still fixated on that dirty water that I can’t escape

No matter how much perfume

expensive bath salts


fun bath toys are dumped in

the water is still muddy, maybe not toxic, fine,

but is “not toxic” really the best I can do for myself?

Is that what I’m obliged to accept because I’m a grown-up now

and it’s not cool to ask for too much?

And I don’t want to be in dirty water, okay?

And Jesus Christ, I want to stop saying “okay?” to everything

as if every thought I have needs to be approved by some external authority

Let’s drain this fucking tub


and then maybe, maybe

we can give it a good scrub,

fill it up again with clean water

then add all those bubbles and toys and fancy-ass salts

and maybe that would be the heaven we’ve always been looking for

Rabble-rouser. Praying atheist. US writer and translator in Mexico. Enthusiastic decorator and muralist.

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